Skin. Skin, skin.
All pale. Pale skin. My skin. My feet.
They are cold. The
water is cold. My feet are in the cold water. Did I -
Yes. I did.
Did take my socks
off. Skin is pale. With veins sticking out sickly clear.
It was windy, the
whole day it was windy, not anymore, trees, leaves, nothing's moving,
holding its breath.
There's a bit of sun
left. Reflecting in the water. Last sun, setting between the
grimacing clouds, the sky is reddening, end of a day, end of today.
Shadows of trees are
growing taller, taller, dark, figures, distorted, no faces, no faces
– trees are standing too close, can't see if anyone's coming, can't
see if anyone's hiding, why should someone hide, why should someone
come, why should someone else be here, no one is here, no one, except
me.
Sky is changing
colour, scarlet, magenta, purple.
Air tastes bitter
and strong.
Waves swashing
between my toes. Luring me deeper in the water, my trousers get wet,
the edges, just the edges, they get wet, because of the water, my
feet are so cold, the water is too cold, it's too cold, I shouldn't
go in, shouldn't, really shouldn't -
In, in, get in,
you've made a start, now, make the rest, do it, finish it, deeper,
deeper, that's it, that's it.
Now breathe.
Plunge into it,
completely, into the water, water, washing away everything, clean me,
make my hands clean. Turn the smell of metal and salt into reed and
mud, lakewater touching my body, nothing but lakewater, clear, pure,
innocent. Washing away everything.
Breathe again.
Trees merging into
one blurry body. No one there.
Sun drowning,
bleeding sky.
Washing away
everything.
Water turns black.
Cold, whole body,
cold, so cold.
The sun's dead now.
