Lake

Skin. Skin, skin. All pale. Pale skin. My skin. My feet.

They are cold. The water is cold. My feet are in the cold water. Did I -

Yes. I did.

Did take my socks off. Skin is pale. With veins sticking out sickly clear. 

It was windy, the whole day it was windy, not anymore, trees, leaves, nothing's moving, holding its breath.

There's a bit of sun left. Reflecting in the water. Last sun, setting between the grimacing clouds, the sky is reddening, end of a day, end of today.

Shadows of trees are growing taller, taller, dark, figures, distorted, no faces, no faces – trees are standing too close, can't see if anyone's coming, can't see if anyone's hiding, why should someone hide, why should someone come, why should someone else be here, no one is here, no one, except me.

Sky is changing colour, scarlet, magenta, purple.

Air tastes bitter and strong.

Waves swashing between my toes. Luring me deeper in the water, my trousers get wet, the edges, just the edges, they get wet, because of the water, my feet are so cold, the water is too cold, it's too cold, I shouldn't go in, shouldn't, really shouldn't -

In, in, get in, you've made a start, now, make the rest, do it, finish it, deeper, deeper, that's it, that's it.

Now breathe.

Plunge into it, completely, into the water, water, washing away everything, clean me, make my hands clean. Turn the smell of metal and salt into reed and mud, lakewater touching my body, nothing but lakewater, clear, pure, innocent. Washing away everything.

Breathe again.

Trees merging into one blurry body. No one there.

Sun drowning, bleeding sky.

Washing away everything.

Water turns black.

Cold, whole body, cold, so cold.

The sun's dead now.