Friday, 27 September 2013

Allerleirauh

[...] the king looked at her one day
that she resembled his deceased wife [...]
and he suddenly felt a great love for her.
                                           - J.&W. Grimm, 1812-


since mum died
he often cried in his sleep.
he thought I wouldn't hear it.

I stood outside the door
and wished
they were my tears.
my feet were getting cold.

one night
he opened the door
to find me on the corridor
with naked feet, in my nightdress.

he said I could
lie down
next to him
where my mother used to lie
and warm my feet
under the duvet

I lay down next to him
and warmed my feet
under the duvet
that he used to share
with my mum

he touched my face.
the winter was creeping
through the walls
of our castle

he said he would
warm me
so I wouldn’t fall ill
he took off my nightdress
to warm me
with his body


when he was finished
I went into to the bathroom
to wash off
the blood
between my legs

Monday, 23 September 2013

Cinderella or The little glass slipper

  [...]she gave her a pair of glass slippers,
  the prettiest in the whole world.
- C. Perrault, 1697-

On lily feet
I danced at the balls of Grimm, Disney, Perrault
Cinderella,
the princess with the little slippers,
envied by many.

7cm, lotus flower, golden lilies
a pearl
in the hand of someone
who would find hobbling erotic
helplessness alluring
a pearl
in the hand
of a man.

Shoes are children
we offer them on the altar
Guanyin, you hear the women's tears
the cried and the uncried
count how many are mine.

Red bean dumplings
to soften the bones, winter's frost
to numb the feet,
unsuccessfully.
alume, ground almonds, mulberry, roots and urine,
skin, shriveling like a badly folded origami pagoda, toes sewn,
blood and pus, bandaged in a shroud, rotting flesh

days and days, pain and pain,
and no prince to save me.

stumbling across the room, again and again
and
again
until they broke.
bones newly deformed
to fit into these damn shoes of gold, silk, fur, glass

No one envies my big footed sisters
but trust me
cutting off the heel, a toe

that's nothing compared to
golden lilies

the most precious part of me